Content Warning: Discussions of domestic violence and murder
The victim blaming surrounding the murder of Kasandra Perkins and the abuser Jovan Belcher makes me sick. People present the accounts of the night before the murder and portray Kasandra Perkins as "instigating" or a "catalyst" while Jovan Belcher just "snapped" or wasn't in his right mind because of a concussion, and I am horrified. Because when I read the accounts I see a very standard part of abusive relationships.
The night before Belcher murdered Perkins she had gone out with friends to a concert. She acted in a manner very normal to 22-year-olds going out with friends, as in she drank some and stayed out past midnight.
Belcher also acted in a very normal manner, for an abuser that is. He called Kasandra Perkins multiple times over the course of the night. Constant phone calls, constant checking in with a partner when they are away from you, anger when a partner is away from you (particularly when they are with people who would support them should they leave you) are all standard actions of abusers. Anger and fighting with your partner when they return home after being independent is also pretty standard behavior from an abuser. And that's not getting into what should be the exceedingly obvious sign of relational abuse and violence, at 7:50 am the morning after the concert Belcher shot Kasandra Perkins 9 times, killing her, before going to his coach and eventually killing himself.
Abusive relationships become even more dangerous for women during and immediately following pregnancy. This is especially true for black mothers in their 20s.
It sickens me that the very things that show the likelihood of Belcher being abusive to Perkins are being used to victim blame Perkins. It horrifies me that during one of the few times the media is discussing domestic violence and the murder of black mothers the main focus is on victim blaming the woman and exonerating an abuser and murderer. I am not surprised by these things, but I am disgusted by them, and contemptuous of our society that continues to think and act in such ways.
It sickens me that the very things that show the likelihood of Belcher being abusive to Perkins are being used to victim blame Perkins. It horrifies me that during one of the few times the media is discussing domestic violence and the murder of black mothers the main focus is on victim blaming the woman and exonerating an abuser and murderer. I am not surprised by these things, but I am disgusted by them, and contemptuous of our society that continues to think and act in such ways.
People who are not in their right mind should not have access to guns, and I'm not sure they're a great idea for people who "are" in their right mind, either.
ReplyDeleteSadly when it comes to intimate partner violence I think most of the abusers are "in their right minds" it's our culture that teaches them to see women/partners as objects and possessions that make violence against women (abusive relationships) so endemic.
ReplyDeleteNot that the US's horrific gun laws don't also hurt.
-L.Z.