By: Malanka Sveta
You know what I fucking hate? I fucking hate having to constantly tell dudes "I get what you mean, but...". Why should I have to watch my fucking tone when what you fucking said is reprehensible? If that's not what you fucking meant, too fucking bad. That's not my fucking fault. It's also not my fucking fault that you feel so fucking entitled to praise for not being 100% a terrible person that when a mere woman says "Really?!? That?" you get fucking defensive instead of clarifying. The fact that, yes, I know what you meant does not make what you actually said fine.
You know what else I fucking hate? People who know fuck all about rape, or me, making assumptions about me based on my status as a survivor. That's right, I don't hide it. I am not ashamed of being a survivor. There is nothing shameful in having been the victim of a crime. I think we need to relook at survivors. Not all survivors are open about it, and that's fine because we (survivors) are not the Borg. What works for me, what I am capable of, what I do, all of that has nothing to do with anyone but me, nor should anyone model their behaviour on mine (not because I feel there is something wrong with my bahaviour but because we are not the Borg). I am, in part, a visible survivor because people need to know we exist. That they love us, or hate us, or frighten us, or enrich us, or touch us, or see us every day. We're everywhere (like lolcats).
*Trigger warning* http://vimeo.com/62186332
This dude really has some impressive thoughts on rape, rapists, and backlash. He has no fucking clue about survivors. And I don't have the fucking energy to be nice about this. Dude. I am not fucking broken. If you feel that way about survivors, perhaps you are.