Lovely, and not too surprising considering an episode of his TV show I saw last summer. It was one of the few times I’ve watched and in it Tosh showed a video of a “dildo fight” that turned into a rape.
He made jokes about the video. This man showed a video of a teen boy being rape by his friend with a dildo for entertainment purposes. He made jokes about it.
A description of the video is bellow the cut. I removed the embedding because they're teens and it might be child porn and illegal. It's up on Youtube. Again, it’s likely triggering.
By: Liberate Zealot In certain activist groups and movement there's this idea that we must all "pull together" and not mention the differences that exist within group. Differences "don't matter" and discussing them is "divisive". Now, the idea that we should all be color-blind and talking about racism and race fuels racism exists in many areas, but it, and similar ideas of gender-blind and sexuality-blind is especially problematic in activist/social justice areas as it invariably leads to the more privileged members being the focus while the concerns and experiences of the intersectionality oppressed are silenced. I was at Occupy Wall St for the October, 17th marches and meet up in Times Square. Friday Night the GA had a discussion about how often Occupy Wall St was represented almost solely by white men when they interacted with outside media and that the working groups should endeavor to make sure they were equally represented by women and people of color. This was purposed by a black woman. The next two hours were filled with white guys saying this would equal silencing them, or attempting to go off on unrelated tangents about Israel and Palestine. One white guy went off about how there is "no black or white, we're all people of color." Many seemed to feel that acknowledging and representing the differences among the members wouldn't help the cause, and in fact, that doing so would hurt Occupy and silence the male members. Similar attitudes can be found in a variety of social movements, or with people who interact with such movements with calls for humanitarianism and all joining together instead of focusing on one group or oppression. Some feel that even naming or identifying the differences is "segregationist" and hurts the cause. And I can only wonder at their understanding of history and oppressions. Part of the actions of an oppressive group is erasing the identities and existence of the oppressed. It Others people who are differently abled, of color, women, queer. And it does so by ignoring their existance, or by treating them (us) as some different entity, less normal/human than the Kyriarchal ideal. It ignores and silecnes us. It's incredibly shortsighted for activist groups to further this oppression by branding discussion of differences within group as "divisive". To say that differences like race, gender, ability, and sexuality shouldn't be addressed or named because it detracts from the central focus. When the "central focus" isn't informed by the differences (and different avis of oppression that people experience) than it only addresses the concerns of the most privileged members of the group. All while demanding the effort and support of the people that they ignore and thus further oppress. History has proved this time and again within various groups. Feminists only address the concerns of white/middle class/ cis women. Gay rights activists only address the concerns of white gay cis men. Black rights activists only address the concerns of straight men. As said, Occupy has an issue with sexism and racism. To be fully revolutionary, to be fully about social justice an activist and/or group must be aware of intersectionality and the differences of people. Because those differences change the experience of oppression, and oppression cannot be dealt with unless it's manifestations and the various causes for it are understood. Differences and how those affect the oppression people experience can only be addressed if they are named. We cannot speak about what we cannot name. And we can't address or attack an oppression if the people it oppresses cannot even identity themselves. And if people are treated differently (and they are) than those differences must be addressed as they are. Not under some banner that erases such differences. Furthermore, these "divisive" elements are people, their identities, their experiences, their lives. To treat this as "divisive" and distracting/less important is to treat them (us) as "divisive" and distracting and less important. And there's nothing revolutionary or just about that, it's simply a continuation of the Kyriarchy. And a social justice advocate/group cannot be Kyriarchal and just.
By: Liberate Zealot Today, July 4th, is the day my country, the US, celebrates its existence, it's independence. July 4th is Independence Day, but for all, as my name implies, I love freedom and independence, I cannot celebrate this day. This country, supposedly founded on freedom, has never been free for the majority of people. The founders didn't include women, the poor, the differently abled, queer, or people of color as deserving freedom. And to this day these groups of people (some of them my groups) are not free. Now one could say that things have gotten better or that since there are no slaves and "everyone can vote". But such people must be ignorant of the voter suppression initiatives or the rules about convicts and ex-cons, which relate to thousands upon thousands of people (primarily people of color) being unable to vote. And they must be willfully unaware of all queer people who often don't have to right to civilly marry who they love, where they can't adopt, where they aren't protected from discrimination in schools or jobs. Likewise they must not see the increase in the laws that take away women's body autonomy. Because these things are my reality, and the reality of millions of Americans, and we are not free. To say that we are more free than we were 236 years ago is laughable. One cannot be more free, or less free. Either I am free, or I am not. Either we are free, or we are not. Freedom is an absolute. And the majority of people in the U.S. are absolutely not free.
So freedom, real and pervasive freedom does not exist in this country. And the United States was not founded on freedom. It was founded on genocide. Biological warfare (small pox blankets), stealing land, and forced "relocation" make this land "available" for European settlers. And these same settlers, and thus the country, flourished off the kidnapping of people. The United States grew in power because of slavery, off the ownership and dehumanizing off millions of people. After the end of legal slavery the US continued to profit off of the underpaid work of people of color, of immigrants, who they continued to treat as less than human.
This oppression is what out country was founded on. This oppression is what the country grew on. And it continues to this day.
Often I am glad to live in this country. Sometimes I am even proud, though generally I am angry, ashamed, disgusted, scared, and betrayed.
I don't expect perfection, but I expect improvement. And I expect awareness of the failings of the past, and the work that still needs doing. And until I see this recognition on the part of the US, and it truly is an Independence Day for all of the people of the US, I cannot join in on the celebrations of the Fourth.
In honor of PRIDE, Oreo came out with a Rainbow Oreo on Monday. So far it's only a picture on their Facebook Page, but people are already asking them to make this cookie a reality. Personally, if they do make this something people can buy, I hope the proceeds would go to help queer people. Anyway, I hope Oreo's support is more than one statement and a potential product targeted to queer people. Apparently Entertainment Weekly thinks Merida, the princess from Brave is a lesbian. Because she's a tomboy you know? Chris Heller from the Atlantic has a nice response about the possibilities (after all she could be queer, straight, or asexual) and what those mean. Laura Flanders writes in the Nation, Queer Issues are Class Issues, about how the LGBTQ movement needs to become more exclusive. Specifically in regards to class issues and how the homomentum isn't happening for queer people living in or near poverty. (Content Warning - Violence, Holocaust)
By: Liberate Zealot Cross posted on F.A.R tumblr Content Warning: Catholic Church, reference of sexual violence So I've been meaning to write this post for a while, and this is my third attempt this week. But every time I start something else comes up, I need to play with the kitten, or make home made soup, or some such thing. Really it's just hard to articulate exactly what I want to say and express, so I've found other things to occupy my mind.
As is mentioned in my bio, my brother is a Future Priest, he's just finished his first year in a Catholic seminary. He decided he wanted to do this two years ago, and while my parents and I aren't exactly happy about it, we haven't tried to talk him out of it and guilt trip him about it. We respect his right to decide what is best and right for his own life. And he knows I have issues with the Catholic Church, and took the time to talk to be about how he doesn't support their stance on Gay Marriage. Which was nice, but rather missed the point.
Which since then he did an interview with his college and discussed how his family reacted, and mentioned me as being unsupportive. He's also written several letters, with lots of religious platitude, about how he feels this change/separation in our relationship. And the amount of not getting it is staggering and heart breaking. We see each other at family things a couple times a year (we live in different states so that would be the extent of it no matter what). And don't discuss the issues then, because it wouldn't be pretty and we don't want to ruin the holidays or whatever for everyone.
And I've never responded to his letters, and he hasn't forced the issue with phone calls or anything. The reason is, I think it would ruin what relationship we still have (and I hate to be vulnerable). But here's what I might say.
The Vatican is anti-woman and anti-queer, and it is actively so. It seeks to push it's own beliefs on everyone else in the world. And to be a priest is to support that, the Vatican demands you support it. And this is oppressive to my very being. I am a queer woman, and the Vatican is against me, against my identity. Not only within it's churches, but in the public streets and the halls of government as well. It seeks to oppress me, and requires its priests, eventually my brother, to do the same. And this is something I should be supportive of? And don't speak of reforming from the inside. The nuns might happily and vocally defy the Vatican when it comes to its political involvement and stance on queer rights and choice, but I don't see any priests doing that. And my brother never did in the past, is it suddenly to change once he gets his vestments, then he'll become an ally, when he never was before? And so my brother has picked a hierarchical and Kyriarchal institution that actively seeks to oppress his own sister. Of course our relationship has changed. It wasn't me who changed it. I might still love my brother. But how can I trust and respect someone who will take a leadership position within a group that hates and seeks to suppress and outlaw my rights, my autonomy, my personhood? I cried when I saw that interview. And I don't cry often, the only other times what year were about dealing with the sexual violence I endured. In a way his decision to join the Catholic Priesthood and belief that I should support him was as much an attack on my person as the sexual violence. Both erased my autonomy, my right to personal control and emotions. I never expected that from my brother. Maybe some day I'll have the strength to say or write all of this to him. But right now the potential fallout isn't worth the clearing of my mind. I'm not ready yet.
Babe, is this Sexist? Comes to you on a special day for our special edition dedicated to Fathers. Generally we only cover one thing per post, but today, as a gift, here are 3 sexist/sex discrimination things!
First up, the most popular (from the poll) option that was found while looking through Amazon (a mistake) for Father's Day Gifts.
And FUCK YES this is SEXIST!
It's made by Focus on the Family and oh how they suck.
"Authentic" Manhood, I'm gonna guess it's all about being "masculine" and heterosexist. And remember positing "Masculine" as the only way to be an authentic man places man/masculine as better than woman/feminine is super misogynistic!
Now onto the runner-up. Huggies Dad Test Ad Campaign.
"To prove Huggies Diapers can handle anything we put them to the ULTIMATE test, Dads."
Because men are suck and bumbling parents! So Sex Discrimination against men. And also sexism since the idea is built on the benevolent sexist framing of women as natural caregivers.
So Huggies pulled the ads and supposedly put up a Pro-Dad version. But we're not really seeing a difference since it still suggests that dad's make a better test for diapers since they're not as good with babies and baby things as moms.
And finally, no votes, but a charming Father's Day gift suggestion from Target!
Just what dad needs, a place to escape from all those wimminz! Because men totes need a safe space on top of their privileged existence in public/pretty much every place ever!
So yeah, this is sexist.
So to sum up, after a hard day of failing with babies, raising their son's to be "authentic" men in the finest traditions of misogyny and heterosexism, Dad's need a place to escape from those nagging women!
Or they can continue being decent people and good parents. And for all the father's that manage this,
An evolving dictionary/glossery of words and terms used by the Hivemind.
*If I've missed any or you know of alternative definitions please let me know!
Ableism - Prejudiced thoughts/speech/actions against people with mental/physical/emotional disabilities (differing abilities).
Accesibility - The extent to which a place (often but not always a location) is accessible to everyone, generally, but not always refers to people with disabilities.
Advocate - A person who speaks for hirself, hir community, and/or a disadvantaged community. See self-advocate.
Ally - A person from one (normally privileged) group who stands up with and supports members of an oppressed group.
Androgyn* (e, ous, y) - A person whose biological sex and/or gender is not readily aparent, and/or identifies between the two main genders, who presents as both masculine and feminine, and/or has cast of gender/gender roles completely.
Appropriation - Specifically cultural appropriation is as aspect of racism where people from a dominant group take on a part of the culture from an oppressed group that they continue to marginalize. Different from cultural appreciation, but it's a thin line. http://www.racialicious.com/2008/09/18/cultural-appropriation-homage-or-insult/
Aromantic - A person who does not feel romantic attraction/feelings for others. Sometimes, but not always related to being asexual.
Asexual - A person who does not feel sexual attraction to others. It can be, but not always is related to being aromantic.
Benevolent Sexism - A type of sexism that is based on protecting/caring for men. Often confused for chivalry and/or female privilege.
Bias - Prejudice, an inclination, world view, or preference that limits understanding and impartiality. Everyone has some biases.
Bigotry - Intolerant prejudice which glorifies ones own group and denigrates people of other groups/identities.
Biphobia - Fear, dislike, hatred of people who are bisexual.
Bisexual - People who are sexually and or romantically attracted to people of at least two genders. Often is used interchangablely with pansexual.
Cis*(gender/sexual/man/woman) - A prefix that means on the same side as. A person (man/male, women/female) whose sex and gender are the same as what they were assigned at birth.
Cissexism - Discrimination and prejudice against trans* people.
Classism - Discrimination/prejudice against people of different classes, often used specifically for when done by upper-class people against low-classes.
Disability - A physical/mental/emotional "impairment" that results in special needs. One can be born with, or gain a disability. Some people with disabilities prefer the term differently abled. When discussing disabilities remember to use person first language (person with Autism) and/or the terms/language prefered by the person/group with the disability.
Discrimination - Prejudiced treatement or people/groups.
Dominant Culture - The cultural values, practices, and beliefs that is considered the most common, mainstream, influential within a society. Very tied into the white, straight, (Christian), able bodied, able minded, cismale, masculine identity (though this can/does change between cultures and sub-groups).
Empower(ed/ment) - When oppressed group members take/feel power, often by refusing to accept the dominant/oppressive culture. Very tied to choice and liberal feminism.
Ethnic(ity) - Divides people into smaller groups based on culture and/or country of origin. I'm some places it's tied very closely to race in other's it is more seperate.
F to M/FtM/F2M - Female to male.An abbreviation used to signify a type sex/gender change, normally used by transsexual men.
FAAB - Female assigned at birth. Used in trans* and genderqueer communities to describe the sex/gender doctors/parents assigned/believed one to be. Can be used by cis/trans/genderqueer people.
Female - A sex identification, seperate from gender. It's based on genitals, genetics, and mental sex.
Feminism - "The radical notion that women are people". The belief that women deserve equality and the actions taken to ensure this. A large theory with many subgroups.
Gender - The idea of women and men, sometimes considered to be a social construct, very assosiated with presentation - feminine/masculine and gender roles. Depending of the person these things are seen as all the same or seperate but informed by each other.
Gendered - Assosiated/Having to do with a gender, often tied to presentation or gender roles. Ex. pink and blue are gendered colors.
Gender and Sexual Minorities - People who are not heterosexual or cis*. Normally used as an umbrella term, generally not used as an idenity.
Genderqueer - People who identity as both/inbetween/neither men and women and or male and female or is in anyway gender noncomformist. Both an umbrella term and an identity.
Hate Crime - A crime motivated by the actual or percieved race, sexuality, religion, ethnicity, country of origin, gender, gender identity, or disability of the victim. Different states and countries protect different groups under hate crime laws (if they classify crimes as hate crimes or offer any protections/punishments for hate crimes).
Heterocentric - Placing heterosexuality as the dominant culture.
Heterosexism - The belief that everyone is or should be heterosexual. growing to replace the word homophobic.
Heterosexual - A person who is attracted to the opposite sex, specifically refers to male/female, but can refer to to people who care more about gender and less about genitals.
Homophobia - Fear/hatred of people who are homosexual (and other non-heterosexual people). Some people dislike assosiating this is phobias which are a legitimate medical problem. Heterosexism is replacing this word in some spaces.
Homosexual - A person who is attracted to other's of the same sex. Sometimes used by people who feel an attraction to only the same gender, but don't care about genitals.
Inclusive - Open to and accessible to all peoples (or at least as much as is possible).
-Ism - A word that means prejudice + power. Ex. racism can only be down to people of color, sexism can only be done to women. Not everyone uses this defition and they will probably use insitutional/cultural when discussing this dynamic.
Internalized * (Racism/Sexism/Heterosexism) - When an oppressed group has bought into the oppressive ideas/actions and supports the dominance and supremacy of the dominant group.
Intersex - A person who with born biologically intermediate between male and female. Refers to gentials and genetics. Can also refer to ambiguous genitals but only one time of sex tissue/organs/genes.
Kyriarchy - A continuation of Patriarchy theory that addresses Intersectional oppression/structures. On Archy.
Lesbian - A woman who is attracted to other women.
LGBT - The most mainstream acronym that addresses GSM people. Stands of Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Trans. It critiqued for lack of inclusion, and also that many communities that call themselves LGBT are less accepting of Bi and Trans people.
LGBTQIAQAT - Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Trans, Queer, Intersex, Asexual, Questioning, Androgynous, Two-Spirit. An acronym that lists more types of GSM people. It's rare that all of these will be used at once.
M to F/MtF/M2F - Male to Female. An abreviation used to refer to a type of sex/gender change. Mainly used by transexual women.
MAAB - Male assigned at birth. Used in trans* and genderqueer communities to describe the sex/gender doctors/parents assigned/believed one to be. Can be used by cis/trans/genderqueer people.
Mansplain - The act of a man condecendingly explaining things to a women, speficially about things she knows more of. Often related to feminism, sexism and/or a woman/female experience. 'Splain is used for the same attitude/dynamic when it does not involve a man 'splaining to a woman.
Marginalized - Excluded or ignored opressed people/groups.
Misogyny - Hatred of women. Seeing them as less than and Other.
MRA - Men's Right Activists. Classified as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center. See http://manboobz.com/ for info on their beliefs/rhetoric.
Multiplicity - The quality of having multiple and simultanious social identities. Unlike intersectionality it is not always assosiated with oppression.
Naming - "When we articulate a thought that has normally not been discussed." Can refer to the culture and/or individual.
Oppression - The systematic and pervasive inequality that results from institutional privilege and power where one group benefits at the expense of another.
Othering - An oppressive and kyriarchal/patriarchal method of stereotyping characteristics/roles onto groups as a way to explain oppression. Results in Us and Other categories with Other, naturally, getting the short end of the stick.
Pansexual - The attraction to people are various/all types of sex, gender, and presentation. Some people use this interchangably with bisexual, other's see them as distinct sexualities.
Patriarchy - The system of oppression that favors men and results in the Othering and oppression of women. On Archy.
People of Color - A collecting term for people who are of Asian, African, Latin, Middle Eastern, and/or Native/Aboriginal backgrounds. As opposed to white people from a European background.
Polyamory - The practice of having multiple open and honest love/romantic relationships.
Prejudice - A, usually negative, bias or preconcieved belief/judgement about a person or group of people.
Privilege - A right, license, and/or excemption that only some people have access or avialability to because of group memberships.
Queer - An umbrella term and/or identity for anyone who is a GSM.
Questioning - Someone who is uncertain of hir sexuality/gender identity.
Racism - Discrimination and/or prejudice against people based on their real or percieved race. Usually refers to the actions/thoughts of white people against people of color. Can manifest in many ways.
Religion - A system of spiritual beliefs, often tied to culture, and normally of an organized variety.
Safe Space - And area/location where people are free of oppression and feel able to honestly and openly express their feelings and experiences.
Self-Advocate - A person who advocates for themselves. This differentiation from advocate is mainly used amongst disability activists.
Sex - The biological classification of male, female, intersex that is based on genetics and or physiological features.
Sexism - Discrimination and prejudice based on sex and/or gender, usually by men against women. Can manifest in many ways.
Sexual Orientation - A person's sexual/romantic preference/attraction/interest in others.
Silencing - The intentional or accidental process in which the voices and participation of people of oppressed groups are ignored, discredited, excluded, and/or inhibited.
Social Justice - A term for actions intended to increase the equality/fairness/justice for all oppressed peoples.
Stereotype - Blanket beliefs/views about people from different groups. Ex. Blonds are dumb, black people are lazy.
System of Oppression - The conscious and un-conscious, organized, insitutionalized discrimination, prejudice, and exploitation of oppressed peoples.
Tolerance - Acceptance of the differences of others, does not always mean agreement or support and so is not always the prefered term of activists/advocates.
Transphobia - Fear/hatred of people who are and/or are perceived to be trans. Has the same critiques as the term homophobia and expresses the same ideas as cissexism.
Trans* - an umbrella term that includes as variety of people who defy/change their sex/gender. Normally used to refer to people who are transgender and/or transexual. Can also refer to drag queens/kings, cross-dressers, and anyone who is any type of genderqueer.
Transgender - People who identify as a gender different than the one which they were assigned at birth.
Transexual - A person who identifies as a different gender and sex than the one they where assigned at birth. Can refer to people who have had genital reconstuctive surgery and/or those those have not had any surgeries.
Two - Spirit - A Native American/First Nations term with no exact English relation. Best translations assosiate it with the word queer, and/or people who are both men and women. Can be used to describe several types of GSM identities.
Babe, is this Sexist is starting up again. And if you're a USian it's just in time for Father's Day. So our theme this week is fathers and father's day. Check out of Facebook page for the poll!
Or more accurately let's talk about how we talk about sex. The narratives surrounding sex and the words and expressions used when we do talk about sex. Specifically let's talk about how these things are often major contributors to rape culture. By the nature of what I'm discussing and Kyriarchal culture this will be somewhat heterosexist and trans/genderqueer erasing. When possible I will be gender/sex neutral. So while the language/narratives discussed are not inclusive I will try to be so.
