Not *All* Feminists Are Like *That*

By: Liberate Zealot

I've recently seen some posts on tumblr by feminists going on about how not all feminists are lesbians, or butch, or man haters.  And I get they're trying to dismantle the stereotypes around being a feminist, because I used to do this too.  However, intentions are not magic, and the results are straight feminists trying to validate themselves and feminism in the eyes of the kyriarchy (primarily straight men) by throwing lesbians and gender non-conformists under the bus.

And that's what the people who make the lesbian, hairy, man-hating feminist comments want.

• They want feminists to be on the defensive. 
• They want to divide us, and have the ones with more privilege (straight, gender-conforming) refusing to support our lesbian sisters. 
• They want us to suggest there's such a thing as a good or bad feminist.
• They want us to say, "no I'm not like *those* types of feminists, you should like *me* and side with *me*" because that means we're also saying "you have feminists permission to hate and mock and oppress *those women*."

Feminism is about liberating women, it is about ending oppression for women, it is about creating equality.  But the majority of feminists have various privileges which make us ignorant about, or down right prejudice against, other women who do not share our privileges.  This is the reality of the kyriarchal world we live in.  Which means being a feminist entails constantly policing your actions, thoughts, and mind to do our best to ensure our attempts at feminism don't involve harming our less privileged sisters.  It means admitting we can be wrong, and admitting and apologizing for those wrongs when they actually happen, and educating and changing ourselves so we do not commit those wrongs again. 

I used to respond to anti-feminist jokes and comments by expressing something about the idea that *I* wasn't *that type* of feminist, that most feminists weren't like *that*. 

I was wrong to do so.  

I hurt other women, the people I supposedly fought for and with. 

The feminists who make those kind of comments now are wrong and harmful. 

If you're one of them then do what a feminist is supposed to do.  Change yourself. Stand with *all* women against oppression. 

Buffet Feminist

By: Liberate Zealot

The Patriarchy/Kyriarchy is pervasive, it is entrenched, and sometimes it feels absolute.  It's in the schools, the courts, in politics, in doctor's offices, in media, in pricing and advertising, in religions and atheist organizations, sex and dating advice, cultural standards and stereotypes.  The Patriarchy/Kyriarchy is in economics and banks, it's in psychology, and promotions and pay raises, nerd/geek culture, it's in grocery stores and the price of food, in personal interactions.  The Patriarchy/Kyriarchy is in every person, our selves included.

No person can hope to overcome the Patriarchy/Kyriarchy on their own.  And similarly no Feminist theory, or social justice group/movement, can address every aspect of the Kyriarchy. None of us can hope to understand, focus on, and fight against every aspect of the entrenched Kyriarchy.  And similarly, our relative privileges make us blind to many of the causes, branches, and results of the Kyriarchy.

Just as the Kyriarchy has many voices and arms (and heads) so must we who fight against it. We need Radical Feminism, and Liberal Feminism, and Communist/Socialist feminism, and Sex-Positive Feminism, and Womanism, and PostColonial Feminism, and all the branches of Feminism to combat the many permutations of the Patriarchy/Kyriarchy.  Similarly we need people and movements to address the areas that Feminism fails to address (while working to make ourselves better allies).

We need all the Feminist voices to shout out against the incessant drone of the Kyriarchy.  And we need to work to support new voices, and make sure our own voices don't silence the voices of other people who are unheard in the Kyriarchy.

And because I believe most deeply in this need, because I think Feminism is doomed without its many and ever expanding voices and branches, I am a Buffet Feminist.

Feminism and Children

By: Liberate Zealot

Part II of Feminism and Children : Feminism and Children MasterPost

As I've mentioned in the past, my daily feminism in the physical world (meat space) is primarily involved in working with children and helping them become conscientious and aware people.

There's combating the seeds of rape culture.
Fighting gender roles and stereotypes.
Raising awareness about the diversity of humanity and ensuring respect and empathy.

And with it being the start of the year I've been going all over buying new activities and planning lessons that reflect these goals.  I've been very excited about some awesome finds, and considering how Kyriarchal many mainstream stores and toys are I wanted to share the good, diverse toys and activities I've found.

Lakeshore Learning is a store for Pre-K and elementary school teachers.  They have a lot of toys for younger children that, unlike toy stores like Toys R Us and the toy departments of Target and Walmart, isn't    gendered. Instead they're sorted by the skills/type of play they support.
Specifically I adore their Block Play People.  The dolls are based on more realistic body types than many other play dolls.  The have sets of families with various ethnicities (White, Black, Hispanic, Native American, and Asian) that are multi-generational.  They have a doll set of dolls with differing abilities and Community dolls that reflect different jobs held by people of various ethnicities and genders (some of which directly go against stereotypes).  While they don't have any queer/gender variant options you can mix and match the families or create your own stories through imaginative play with the dolls.

For babies and toddlers there are the Diversity Baby Bottom Dolls which are intended to help with potty training and made by a company that works on creating green bathroom supplies for children under three.

The Multicultural Toy Box might not be active any more, but there is some great information in their archives if you have the time to search.  Information of toys and books about people of color, with differing abilities and various religions.  The writer also reviewed and analyzed various programs and offers advice on child rearing.

2 to 26, a currently inactive literacy/education blog, has a collection of Book Lists geared towards women, people of color, queer people, and people with Autism Spectrum Disorder.

We Are Women Recap

By: Liberate Zealot

So after some issues (damn metro!) the roommate and I made it to the We Are Woman Rally right around noon.

Check out our Facebook Album for more imagines!

We missed several speakers and one performer. Mara Keisling, who spoke at the Unite Against the War on Women Rally, was back, but sadly I didn't see her speech.  However, all the speeches are up on-line if you care to check them out yourself.  And the bands, sounds system, and over all organization of the Rally was the best I've seen yet.

My favorite speakers were Rev. Charles McKenzie of the Rainbow Push Coalition in Florida and Soraya Chemaly of the Huffington Post, fem2pt0, Btchflcks, and more.  They were both eloquent and impassioned speakers who, in my opinion, out shone the other speakers, in their ability and skill and the resonance of what they were saying.  Both spoke about current political and social issues, discussed individual acts, and connected them to the larger mentality and methods of the Kyriarchy.  Soraya Chemaly spoke about internalized misogyny and how the social and political issues are related to that and society's failure to see women as fully human.  This tied very nicely into discussion about the ERA which was the focus of most of the speakers. (along with plenty of disparaging comments about Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan).

As a reminder the ERA (Equal Rights Amendment) which would result in Constitutional recognition of women's humanity and personhood, has never passed.

However, I have to admit to a sense of disappointment with the We Are Woman Rally. Maybe it was the heat, or the length of the rally (10:30-4:00), but it just wasn't as good as other ones.  The speakers became repetitive after a while, and while they were all knowledgeable and "accredited feminists" many of them just weren't stirring speakers.  Most disappointing was the diversity of the speakers.  The vast majority were late middle aged white women. Few of them self disclosed as queer or from the "lower" class.  It was too homogeneous to feel representative of all US women.  And if I noticed this I can only imagine how alienating it might have felt to women of color, or those who've grown up without class privilege.

I can't help but compare it to last week's #sheparty which was led by Flyover Feminism and about the diversity within the feminist movement. To go from a discussion about needing better representation and the feminists in power, the privileged feminists, needing to be the ones to open their conferences, to reach out and gain the trust of our less privileged sisters, to a rally full of "official" feminists, dominated by white women.  Well, it was upsetting, and it made me angry.  We're supposed to be getting better in truth, not just paying lip service to diversity and intersectionality.

Attribution Theory and White Male Mass Murder

By: Liberate Zealot
Content Warning: Mass shootings, White Supremacy, Christian Supremacy, Eliminationist Language

In Education Attribution Theory students perceive their unexpected successes and failures and attribute these events to internal or external causes.  Do they think it's about internal and/or controllable things like their effort and ability or external/uncontrollable luck or their teachers?  Education psychologists and researchers have examined this theory among different ages, genders, and countries to understand the different ways students make use of Attribution Theory.  When I was studying Education I was taught, though not everyone agrees with this, that as a whole boys and girls have different types of Attribution.  When something good happens, like they unexpectedly pass a test, boys attribute it to themselves, their efforts and ability.  Girls are more likely to attribute this to luck.  However, this method of internal vs. external attribution flips when students unexpectedly fail a test.  Then girls attribute this failure to themselves (they aren't smart enough, they need to study harder), whereas boys attribute unexpected failure to outside influences, specifically an unfair/bad teacher. These findings are based on white children.  African American students are more likely to consistently attribute failure and success to their teachers, ability, environment, and luck (all sources outside their control).

The point is people attribute things based on how they're socialized.  White (cis)men/boys think that success is all them, while failure is attributed to the fault of some Other. Think about that for a moment and then start to apply that theory to the culture at large. Then go a step further and think about how this relates to the recent (and past) mass shootings and terrorist/hate crime attacks on non-christian religious centers. 

Glass Doors

By: Liberate Zealot
Content Warning: Discussions of sexism

So a lot of people in my life have a lot of privilege (as do I) and so think "overcoming obstacles" (read systematic oppression) is about perception and individual choice. They're not quite at the bootstraps level, but they don't understand how racism or sexism or the Kyriarchy effects the people it oppresses.  They want to be allies, but they're too privileged to see the Kyriarchy or understand its systemic nature.  So I find myself trying to describe the experience of oppression.

Recently my boyfriend and I were talking about feminism and sexism and how there is no "getting over" oppression, and that specific individual incidents of sexism aren't isolated. There is no "getting over" something that is still on going.  

Now, as I've said before, I am very privileged.  The oppression I personally experience is not a never ending barrage.  I go through most of my life not being a target for misogyny; sexism is not a daily presence (outside of my continued education of myself or internet activism, which I do try to make daily).  The occasional street harassment, "Pro-life" or anti-sex billboard, the yearly gathering with my conservative/religious family members, the single fathers of my students who get occasionally flirtatious or subtly inappropriate.  These are the incidents I can't avoid, and they aren't too extreme or common (except for how any instance of these is too common).  But they are upsetting and startling.

Experiencing sexism (for me) is a bit like walking into a glass door.  You just go along minding you own business, walking towards a place you want to get, where other people are, and BAM glass door in your face.  And along with being halted you feel pain, embarrassment, and some asshole is trying to convince you it was funny, and maybe that the glass door wasn't there in the first place. 

Which is where the analogy falls down. You can be careful and avoid running face first into glass doors, but that's not possible with sexism.  The world brings it to you, and no evasive maneuvers will stop oppressors from oppressing. (Not fully, not in the short term).  And the fact is the oppression I experience is just the occasional glass door, as opposed to a brick wall society denies while constantly throwing me at and blaming me for being trapped behind.

So maybe this isn't the right way to explain sexism to people who don't experience it.  Maybe there is no accurate way to fully describe the experience. All I know is that I'm surprised every time, and pained, and humiliated, and my progress is stopped or delayed by the oppressions I experience.  Normally it's something I can recover from in just five or ten minutes, or at least hide my stinging face.  But the glass doors keep coming, and no matter how careful, how evasive, I can't avoid them.  The sharp shocks build up.  I start to watch for the glass doors everywhere, because if I can't evade them at least I can prepare myself for the impact. Personally I'll take the banner of "paranoid" or "humorless" feminist.  It's annoying, but not as upsetting as being blindsided by sexism, which even when "paranoid" I don't always see coming. 

-Blindess and Naming

By: Liberate Zealot

In certain activist groups and movement there's this idea that we must all "pull together" and not mention the differences that exist within group.  Differences "don't matter" and discussing them is "divisive". Now, the idea that we should all be color-blind and talking about racism and race fuels racism exists in many areas, but it, and similar ideas of gender-blind and sexuality-blind is especially problematic in activist/social justice areas as it invariably leads to the more privileged members being the focus while the concerns and experiences of the intersectionality oppressed are silenced.  

I was at Occupy Wall St for the October, 17th marches and meet up in Times Square.  Friday Night the GA had a discussion about how often Occupy Wall St was represented almost solely by white men when they interacted with outside media and that the working groups should endeavor to make sure they were equally represented by women and people of color.  This was purposed by a black woman.  The next two hours were filled with white guys saying this would equal silencing them, or attempting to go off on unrelated tangents about Israel and Palestine. One white guy went off about how there is "no black or white, we're all people of color." Many seemed to feel that acknowledging and representing the differences among the members wouldn't help the cause, and in fact, that doing so would hurt Occupy and silence the male members. 
Similar attitudes can be found in a variety of social movements, or with people who interact with such movements with calls for humanitarianism and all joining together instead of focusing on one group or oppression.  Some feel that even naming or identifying the differences is "segregationist" and hurts the cause. And I can only wonder at their understanding of history and oppressions. 

Part of the actions of an oppressive group is erasing the identities and existence of the oppressed.  It Others people who are differently abled, of color, women, queer.  And it does so by ignoring their existance, or by treating them (us) as some different entity, less normal/human than the Kyriarchal ideal. It ignores and silecnes us. It's incredibly shortsighted for activist groups to further this oppression by branding discussion of differences within group as "divisive".  To say that differences like race, gender, ability, and sexuality shouldn't be addressed or named because it detracts from the central focus. When the "central focus" isn't informed by the differences (and different avis of oppression that people experience) than it only addresses the concerns of the most privileged members of the group.  All while demanding the effort and support of the people that they ignore and thus further oppress.  
History has proved this time and again within various groups. 
Feminists only address the concerns of white/middle class/ cis women. Gay rights activists only address the concerns of white gay cis men. Black rights activists only address the concerns of straight men. As said, Occupy has an issue with sexism and racism.

To be fully revolutionary, to be fully about social justice an activist and/or group must be aware of intersectionality and the differences of people.  Because those differences change the experience of oppression, and oppression cannot be dealt with unless it's manifestations and the various causes for it are understood.  Differences and how those affect the oppression people experience can only be addressed if they are named. We cannot speak about what we cannot name. And we can't address or attack an oppression if the people it oppresses cannot even identity themselves.
And if people are treated differently (and they are) than those differences must be addressed as they are. Not under some banner that erases such differences.

Furthermore, these "divisive" elements are people, their identities, their experiences, their lives.  To treat this as "divisive" and distracting/less important is to treat them (us) as "divisive" and distracting and less important.  And there's nothing revolutionary or just about that, it's simply a continuation of the Kyriarchy.  And a social justice advocate/group cannot be Kyriarchal and just.

Family Relationships and the Catholic Church

By: Liberate Zealot
Cross posted on F.A.R tumblr
Content Warning: Catholic Church, reference of sexual violence

So I've been meaning to write this post for a while, and this is my third attempt this week.  But every time I start something else comes up, I need to play with the kitten, or make home made soup, or some such thing.   Really it's just hard to articulate exactly what I want to say and express, so I've found other things to occupy my mind.

As is mentioned in my bio, my brother is a Future Priest, he's just finished his first year in a Catholic seminary.  He decided he wanted to do this two years ago, and while my parents and I aren't exactly happy about it, we haven't tried to talk him out of it and guilt trip him about it.  We respect his right to decide what is best and right for his own life.  And he knows I have issues with the Catholic Church, and took the time to talk to be about how he doesn't support their stance on Gay Marriage.  Which was nice, but rather missed the point.

Which since then he did an interview with his college and discussed how his family reacted, and mentioned me as being unsupportive.  He's also written several letters, with lots of religious platitude, about how he feels this change/separation in our relationship.  And the amount of not getting it is staggering and heart breaking. 

We see each other at family things a couple times a year (we live in different states so that would be the extent of it no matter what). And don't discuss the issues then, because it wouldn't be pretty and we don't want to ruin the holidays or whatever for everyone.

And I've never responded to his letters, and he hasn't forced the issue with phone calls or anything.  The reason is, I think it would ruin what relationship we still have (and I hate to be vulnerable).  But here's what I might say.

The Vatican is anti-woman and anti-queer, and it is actively so. It seeks to push it's own beliefs on everyone else in the world.  And to be a priest is to support that, the Vatican demands you support it. And this is oppressive to my very being.  I am a queer woman, and the Vatican is against me, against my identity.  Not only within it's churches, but in the public streets and the halls of government as well. It seeks to oppress me, and requires its priests, eventually my brother, to do the same.
And this is something I should be supportive of? And don't speak of reforming from the inside.  The nuns might happily and vocally defy the Vatican when it comes to its political involvement and stance on queer rights and choice, but I don't see any priests doing that.  And my brother never did in the past, is it suddenly to change once he gets his vestments, then he'll become an ally, when he never was before?
And so my brother has picked a hierarchical and Kyriarchal institution that actively seeks to oppress his own sister.  Of course our relationship has changed.  It wasn't me who changed it.  I might still love my brother.  But how can I trust and respect someone who will take a leadership position within a group that hates and seeks to suppress and outlaw my rights, my autonomy, my personhood? 

I cried when I saw that interview.  And I don't cry often, the only other times what year were about dealing with the sexual violence I endured.
In a way his decision to join the Catholic Priesthood and belief that I should support him was as much an attack on my person as the sexual violence.  Both erased my autonomy, my right to personal control and emotions.
I never expected that from my brother.  

Maybe some day I'll have the strength to say or write all of this to him. But right now the potential fallout isn't worth the clearing of my mind.  I'm not ready yet. 

The BFD (Big Fucking Dictionary) of Activism and Inclusion

By: Liberate Zealot

An evolving dictionary/glossery of words and terms used by the Hivemind.
*If I've missed any or you know of alternative definitions please let me know!

*I'm trying to be as gender neutral as possible, for a list of gender neutral pronouns see here.

• Ableism - Prejudiced thoughts/speech/actions against people with mental/physical/emotional disabilities (differing abilities). 
• Accesibility - The extent to which a place (often but not always a location) is accessible to everyone, generally, but not always refers to people with disabilities. 
• Advocate - A person who speaks for hirself, hir community, and/or a disadvantaged community.  See self-advocate. 
• Ally - A person from one (normally privileged) group who stands up with and supports members of an oppressed group.
• Androgyn* (e, ous, y) - A person whose biological sex and/or gender is not readily aparent, and/or identifies between the two main genders, who presents as both masculine and feminine, and/or has cast of gender/gender roles completely.
• Appropriation - Specifically cultural appropriation is as aspect of racism where people from a dominant group take on a part of the culture from an oppressed group that they continue to marginalize. Different from cultural appreciation, but it's a thin line. http://www.racialicious.com/2008/09/18/cultural-appropriation-homage-or-insult/
• Aromantic - A person who does not feel romantic attraction/feelings for others. Sometimes, but not always related to being asexual.  
• Asexual - A person who does not feel sexual attraction to others. It can be, but not always is related to being aromantic. 
• Benevolent Sexism - A type of sexism that is based on protecting/caring for men.  Often confused for chivalry and/or female privilege. 
• Bias - Prejudice, an inclination, world view, or preference that limits understanding and impartiality.  Everyone has some biases.
• Bigotry - Intolerant prejudice which glorifies ones own group and denigrates people of other groups/identities. 
• Biphobia - Fear, dislike, hatred of people who are bisexual.
• Bisexual - People who are sexually and or romantically attracted to people of at least two genders. Often is used interchangablely with pansexual. 
• Cis*(gender/sexual/man/woman) - A prefix that means on the same side as. A person (man/male, women/female) whose sex and gender are the same as what they were assigned at birth. 
• Cissexism - Discrimination and prejudice against trans* people. 
• Classism - Discrimination/prejudice against people of different classes, often used specifically for when done by upper-class people against low-classes.  
• Color Blind - The idea of treating everyone "equally" by ignoring (not "seeing") differences.  First used in regards to race, but the idea is used in other areas of inequality/oppression.  Has sense been proved to actually increase/support racism http://www.blogher.com/new-study-finds-links-between-colorblind-ideology-and-racism
• Disability - A physical/mental/emotional "impairment" that results in special needs.  One can be born with, or gain a disability. Some people with disabilities prefer the term differently abled. When discussing disabilities remember to use person first language (person with Autism) and/or the terms/language prefered by the person/group with the disability.
• Discrimination - Prejudiced treatement or people/groups.
• Dominant Culture - The cultural values, practices, and beliefs that is considered the most common, mainstream, influential within a society. Very tied into the white, straight, (Christian), able bodied, able minded, cismale, masculine identity (though this can/does change between cultures and sub-groups). 
• Empower(ed/ment) - When oppressed group members take/feel power, often by refusing to accept the dominant/oppressive culture.  Very tied to choice and liberal feminism. 
• Ethnic(ity) - Divides people into smaller groups based on culture and/or country of origin.  I'm some places it's tied very closely to race in other's it is more seperate. 
• F to M/FtM/F2M - Female to male.An abbreviation used to signify a type sex/gender change, normally used by transsexual men. 
• FAAB - Female assigned at birth. Used in trans* and genderqueer communities to describe the sex/gender doctors/parents assigned/believed one to be.  Can be used by cis/trans/genderqueer people.  
• Female - A sex identification, seperate from gender.  It's based on genitals, genetics, and mental sex. 
• Feminism - "The radical notion that women are people". The belief that women deserve equality and the actions taken to ensure this. A large theory with many subgroups. 
• Gaslighting - Emotional/mental manipulation or policing used to control discredit people who are disagreeing/challenging the gaslighter.http://thecurrentconscience.com/blog/2011/09/12/a-message-to-women-from-a-man-you-are-not-%E2%80%9Ccrazy%E2%80%9D/ 
• Gender - The idea of women and men, sometimes considered to be a social construct, very assosiated with presentation - feminine/masculine and gender roles.  Depending of the person these things are seen as all the same or seperate but informed by each other. 
• Gendered - Assosiated/Having to do with a gender, often tied to presentation or gender roles. Ex. pink and blue are gendered colors. 
• Gender and Sexual Minorities - People who are not heterosexual or cis*. Normally used as an umbrella term, generally not used as an idenity. 
• Genderqueer - People who identity as both/inbetween/neither men and women and or male and female or is in anyway gender noncomformist.  Both an umbrella term and an identity.
• Hate Crime - A crime motivated by the actual or percieved race, sexuality, religion, ethnicity, country of origin, gender, gender identity, or disability of the victim.  Different states and countries protect different groups under hate crime laws (if they classify crimes as hate crimes or offer any protections/punishments for hate crimes). 
• Heterocentric - Placing heterosexuality as the dominant culture. 
• Heterosexism - The belief that everyone is or should be heterosexual.  growing to replace the word homophobic. 
• Heterosexual - A person who is attracted to the opposite sex, specifically refers to male/female, but can refer to to people who care more about gender and less about genitals. 
• Homophobia - Fear/hatred of people who are homosexual (and other non-heterosexual people). Some people dislike assosiating this is phobias which are a legitimate medical problem. Heterosexism is replacing this word in some spaces.  
• Homosexual - A person who is attracted to other's of the same sex.  Sometimes used by people who feel an attraction to only the same gender, but don't care about genitals. 
• Inclusive - Open to and accessible to all peoples (or at least as much as is possible).
• -Ism - A word that means prejudice + power.  Ex. racism can only be down to people of color, sexism can only be done to women.  Not everyone uses this defition and they will probably use insitutional/cultural when discussing this dynamic.  
• Internalized * (Racism/Sexism/Heterosexism) - When an oppressed group has bought into the oppressive ideas/actions and supports the dominance and supremacy of the dominant group.
• Intersectional(ity) - The connecting/relating/intersecting oppressions faced by people who are some combination of non white/straight/cis/male/Christian/wealthy/ablebodied/ableminded/and more). Also refers to the belief/understanding/action based on intersecting oppressions. FAR Intersectionality, http://tigerbeatdown.com/2011/10/10/my-feminism-will-be-intersectional-or-it-will-be-bullshit/
• Intersex - A person who with born biologically intermediate between male and female.  Refers to gentials and genetics.  Can also refer to ambiguous genitals but only one time of sex tissue/organs/genes. 
• Kyriarchy - A continuation of Patriarchy theory that addresses Intersectional oppression/structures. On Archy.
• Lesbian - A woman who is attracted to other women. 
• LGBT - The most mainstream acronym that addresses GSM people. Stands of Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Trans. It critiqued for lack of inclusion, and also that many communities that call themselves LGBT are less accepting of Bi and Trans people. 
• LGBTQIAQAT - Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Trans, Queer, Intersex, Asexual, Questioning, Androgynous, Two-Spirit. An acronym that lists more types of GSM people. It's rare that all of these will be used at once. 
• M to F/MtF/M2F - Male to Female. An abreviation used to refer to a type of sex/gender change.  Mainly used by transexual women.
• MAAB - Male assigned at birth. Used in trans* and genderqueer communities to describe the sex/gender doctors/parents assigned/believed one to be.  Can be used by cis/trans/genderqueer people.
• Mansplain - The act of a man condecendingly explaining things to a women, speficially about things she knows more of.  Often related to feminism, sexism and/or a woman/female experience. 'Splain is used for the same attitude/dynamic when it does not involve a man 'splaining to a woman. 
• Marginalized - Excluded or ignored opressed people/groups. 
• Misogyny - Hatred of women.  Seeing them as less than and Other.
• MRA - Men's Right Activists. Classified as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center. See http://manboobz.com/ for info on their beliefs/rhetoric. 
• Multiplicity - The quality of having multiple and simultanious social identities. Unlike intersectionality it is not always assosiated with oppression. 
• Naming - "When we articulate a thought that has normally not been discussed." Can refer to the culture and/or individual. 
• Oppression - The systematic and pervasive inequality that results from institutional privilege and power where one group benefits at the expense of another. 
• Othering - An oppressive and kyriarchal/patriarchal method of stereotyping characteristics/roles onto groups as a way to explain oppression. Results in Us and Other categories with Other, naturally, getting the short end of the stick. 
• Pansexual - The attraction to people are various/all types of sex, gender, and presentation. Some people use this interchangably with bisexual, other's see them as distinct sexualities. 
• Patriarchy - The system of oppression that favors men and results in the Othering and oppression of women. On Archy.
• People of Color - A collecting term for people who are of Asian, African, Latin, Middle Eastern, and/or Native/Aboriginal backgrounds.  As opposed to white people from a European background. 
• Polyamory - The practice of having multiple open and honest love/romantic relationships. 
• Prejudice - A, usually negative, bias or preconcieved belief/judgement about a person or group of people.
• Privilege - A right, license, and/or excemption that only some people have access or avialability to because of group memberships. 
• Queer - An umbrella term and/or identity for anyone who is a GSM. 
• Questioning - Someone who is uncertain of hir sexuality/gender identity.
• Racism - Discrimination and/or prejudice against people based on their real or percieved race.  Usually refers to the actions/thoughts of white people against people of color. Can manifest in many ways. 
• Religion - A system of spiritual beliefs, often tied to culture, and normally of an organized variety. 
• Safe Space - And area/location where people are free of oppression and feel able to honestly and openly express their feelings and experiences.
• Self-Advocate - A person who advocates for themselves.  This differentiation from advocate is mainly used amongst disability activists.  
• Sex - The biological classification of male, female, intersex that is based on genetics and or physiological features. 
• Sexism - Discrimination and prejudice based on sex and/or gender, usually by men against women. Can manifest in many ways. 
• Sexual Orientation - A person's sexual/romantic preference/attraction/interest in others. 
• Silencing - The intentional or accidental process in which the voices and participation of people of oppressed groups are ignored, discredited, excluded, and/or inhibited. 
• Social Justice - A term for actions intended to increase the equality/fairness/justice for all oppressed peoples. 
• Stereotype - Blanket beliefs/views about people from different groups. Ex. Blonds are dumb, black people are lazy. 
• System of Oppression - The conscious and un-conscious, organized, insitutionalized discrimination, prejudice, and exploitation of oppressed peoples. 
• Tolerance - Acceptance of the differences of others, does not always mean agreement or support and so is not always the prefered term of activists/advocates. 
• Transphobia - Fear/hatred of people who are and/or are perceived to be trans.  Has the same critiques as the term homophobia and expresses the same ideas as cissexism. 
• Trans* - an umbrella term that includes as variety of people who defy/change their sex/gender.  Normally used to refer to people who are transgender and/or transexual.  Can also refer to drag queens/kings, cross-dressers, and anyone who is any type of genderqueer.
• Transgender - People who identify as a gender different than the one which they were assigned at birth. 
• Transmisogyny - Misogyny as experienced by trans women.  Specifically the increased attention/fear/hatred/violence they experience compared to other trans people. http://juliaserano.blogspot.com/2012/04/trans-misogyny-primer.html
• Transexual - A person who identifies as a different gender and sex than the one they where assigned at birth.  Can refer to people who have had genital reconstuctive surgery and/or those those have not had any surgeries. 
• Two - Spirit - A Native American/First Nations term with no exact English relation.  Best translations assosiate it with the word queer, and/or people who are both men and women.  Can be used to describe several types of GSM identities.
  
  Main Resource 

Insults and Oppression

By: Liberate Zealot, Insidious Beast, Mirthful Misanthrope, and Mistress Malcontent

Crossposted in full on the F.A.R. tumblr

Content Warning: Sexism and slut-shaming, Ableism, Homophobia, Religious supremacy, transphobia, racism, fat shaming, ageism, gaslighting, every type of oppressive language we could think of 

So you're a progressive/feminist/queer/social justice activist and you're arguing with mean and insulting people and you want to insult them back without engaging in oppressive language. Because being good doesn't mean you always have to be nice.  Here's a post of non-oppressive insults.  But, we're doing a post on what insults are oppressive, and what type of oppression they fall under.  Because, it's a sad fact that our language and culture is so Kyriarchal that many of us don't even realize the oppressive roots of the words that are in common usage.

 Also some of these words have been reclaimed by the people they oppressive.  Please be aware of the difference between people within an oppressed group using words that are traditionally used to oppress them and an outside group using such language.  Religious supremacy is very tied to racism, just as body insults/policing and ableism are related, so those sections will be grouped together as some words fall under both both categories.  I'm separating classist and racist terms, but there is also a great deal on intersection between those as well (such as ratchet and ginger).  Also ageist is often linked with sexist slurs, same with sexist and classist slurs. Basically a lot of slurs are intersectional.

None of these slurs are positioned based on priority or seriousness of the slur.  All words are alphabetized, with non-English words at the bottom of the list.

Naturally we're going to miss some, if you have any to include please mention them in the comments!  We're trying to include ones from a variety of languages and countries, but because of our locations we're, unfortunately, English-centric.

So Sexy It Hurts

By: Liberate Zealot
Content Warning: Sexism, Kyriarchy, Racism, Slut-Shaming

The idea that certain things are "sexy" or "too sexy" and therefor "inappropriate" is all over.  In various countries, among liberals and conservatives, feminists and religious extremists, there's the idea that a woman's body (more so than men) wearing certain clothes or doing certain things are so sexual (and objectifying) that they are bad and inappropriate.  Now different cultures have somewhat different standards (and these have also changed over time).  However, the overreaching standards that gain more and more prevalence are based on "Western" ideas.  And the "West's" ideas of sexuality and being "too sexy" are based on centuries of colonialism, "Othering", and the Kyriarchy.  

Western Europe and the people who came from there and conquered the lands that would become the US, Canada, and Australia had specific ideas about the acceptable role and appearance of women, and also ideas about "the savage" non-whites/non-Western Europeans.  These ideas have created our current ideas of not only what is "inappropriately sexy" but also what is considered "sexy" at all.  So to dismantle the Kyrirachal framing of things as "too sexy" and slut-shaming we need to look at how current standards of "sexy" and "too sexy" came into being.

On "Archy"

By: Liberate Zealot


In basic terms Patriarchy is a form of social organization where the father is the authority in a family/clan/community and ancestry is traced down the male line.  In feminist terms it describes the legal, social, and relational interactions between men and women where men are in a favored position with greater power.  Even when fathers are no longer the legal head of the family the culture is still Patriarchal when the societal construction has men with a disproportionate amount of power both at the societal and (in most cases) individual level (even if this is no longer legally the case).  Many people believe once legal equality has been met (as it has in many countries, like the US) that means there is no Patriarchy and that equality has been met. However, there are many examples of Patriarchy still existing all over the world. Here are just some examples in regards to institutional powers and societal interaction. 

• Women are under represented in all forms of government the world over.  We make up a little more than 50% of the population however only 18 countries have a woman as their current Head of State.  There are 193 countries in the UN.  In the US where women attend and graduate from college at higher numbers they hold only 17% of seats in Congress, 6 out of 50 states have women as governors, and women make up 24% of state legislators.  Things are even more dismal for women of color, which touches on Kyriarchy. 
• Men interrupt women more then they interrupt other men. This has been proven multiple times, along with the fact that men interrupt more in general (more than 90% of interruptions come from men), and that when women interrupt they are likely to do so by asking questions or making supportive statements as opposed to not letting the other speaking finish their point. 
• The Global Gender Gap is a report issued every year by the World Economic Forum, examines the gender gap based on economic participation and opportunity, educational attainment, health and survival, and political empowerment.  It measures how each country does in regards to equality and ranks them accordingly.  Iceland is ranked 1, which means it has the smallest gender gap, not that women are fully equal there. 
• The existence of femmephobia and the treatment of more "masculine" traits and appearance as androgynous. 

However, there's another word to describe the uneven power structures of societal and the oppressions that these inequalities cause women (and others) to experience.


Kyriarchy, a term coined by Elisabeth Schüssler Fiorenza, is an expansion of the idea of patriarchy to include the multiple interconnected and interacting oppressive power structures that are present in the world. It includes, but is not limited to, racist, classist, ableist, cis-sexist, and heteronormative.  The fact is that the people in power are not only predominately men, but also predominately white, straight, able bodied, cis, and born into a higher class.  Their disproportionate power (like that of men and the Patriarchy) is dependent of the oppression and lack of power of people of color and/or queer, disabled, and poor people. 


The term Kyriarchy is used by intersectional feminists and other social justice activists. And I am trying to get better about using it instead of Patriarchy since that is a limited word that applies to one type of oppression and privilege and thus ignores the experiences of many (most) women who suffer under more than one master. 

"Feminism is not just about sexism, because women as a group are not solely oppressed on the axis of sex. "