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Tuesday, 21 February 2012

Focus on the Silver Lining

Content Warning: Stalking, abusive relationships

This is J-Cat, we're fostering him for a friend who has to leave the state for a while.

She's leaving because because she's spent the last two months being stalked, harassed, and threatened by an emotionally manipulative/abusive ex-boyfriend.  She started making plans on Sunday in case he continued and she needed to leave.  Last night we got a call.  The ex had cloned her parent's phone numbers (since his was blocked) to speak to our friend and had threatened to go to her apartment.  My roommate, I and another friend went down to help her pack quick and get her and J-Cat out of there.  The cops came by (her parents had called them) and after some persuasion she gave them the ex's information.  Previously, she hadn't out of fear of him retaliating and escalating his stalking and threats.

She's flying to her parent's today (they live several states over) and we're watching J-Cat for the foreseeable future. 

This makes two friends who are currently being stalked and harassed.  Several others have had stalkers in the past. 

This makes two college friends who I've actively helped escape abusive (ex) boyfriends. 

These facts kind of make me hate humanity (and also I want to cry).  So I'm focusing on the good. 

As of now, all my friends are safe.  And my cat, Cleo, and J-Cat are already buddies.  They're currently playing tag.  I intend to watch them for a while.


  1. This is a lovely post, about a horrible subject, LZ. My admiration for the silver lining that you have found here!

  2. Oy. Good to see she's gotten out of there. Hope he gets help and/or incarcerated so she doesn't have to spend the rest of her life looking over her shoulder.

    To anyone who's in an abusive relationship or knows someone who is, I strongly recommend contacting the local women's shelter to help create a safety/ exit plan. You/they may not intend/have the means/be able to leave any time soon, but it's best to have a plan in place so that if the opportunity presents or if there are no safe options left, that they can leave at a moment's notice.

    This goes for partners of any gender identity in any relationship. Women's shelters may not be able to house them (because of gender, over-crowding, etc), but they should be able to help with the plan. If they don't/ can't/ refuse to, please contact us here and I will find one (toll-free, etc) that can and will.

  3. It's really unfortunate women live in fear and have to change their lives because some ex can't handle their rejection humanely. When things like this happen, it makes me believe that if someone terrorizes you with stalking and threats, and there is a clear record of this, it should be legalized self-defense to hire someone to kill that stalker. After all, if they make themselves an enemy, aren't they basically starting a war with you?


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